The Top 10 Most Annoying Spam Email Requests (That Somehow Keep Getting Past the Filter)

Let’s be real. I get a lot of emails. Most legit. Some… just plain ridiculous. And then there’s the spam that must be written by AI bots suffering a caffeine crash and zero originality.

Here are my top 10 offenders:

“Hey Rob, I love your content. Can we hop on a quick call?”
Cool. You love it so much you didn’t even mention what content. Generic much?
“Your website has errors and we can fix it.”
Right, Kevin-from-Nowhere, with your Gmail address and broken English. Pretty sure the only thing you fix is my resolve to delete faster.
“We can get you on the first page of Google!”
Buddy, I’ve been dominating Google since you were in diapers. Try harder.
“I noticed your LinkedIn profile and had a business idea…”
And yet, you didn’t even connect with me there first. Psychic much?
“We offer cheap logo design starting at $5.”
Fantastic. I bet it’ll look like it was made in Microsoft Paint by your cousin’s cat.
“You’ve been selected to win a $500 Amazon gift card.”
And all I have to do is give you my soul, my data, and 3 forms of ID? Pass.
“Our virtual assistants can handle all your business needs.”
If your VA can’t even personalize an email, how exactly are they going to handle my clients?
“Dear Sir/Madam…”
Nope. Instant delete. If you can’t figure out my name, you don’t deserve my attention.
“We help coaches scale to 7 figures.”
That’s adorable. I help 7-figure businesses scale smarter. But thanks for playing.
“Just following up on my last 5 emails.”
Which were also ignored. Take the hint. Or better yet, unsubscribe from my life.

Some advice for the spammers: if you’re going to waste my time, at least be original. Or funny. Or both. Otherwise, your email is getting the same treatment as your fake Amazon invoice — trashed and forgotten.

If you want real marketing that doesn’t make people groan…
👉 www.AnspachMedia.com

Rob Anspach

Anspach Media | Website | + posts

Rob Anspach is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends. To everyone else, he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, Authority Amplification Expert, Best-Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker, and Publisher who helps entrepreneurs, experts, and organizations expand their influence, credibility, and legacy.

With more than 30 years of experience building brands and positioning leaders as industry authorities, Rob specializes in authority marketing, storytelling strategy, and digital visibility. He is known for helping experts move beyond simply being known… and become respected, trusted, and remembered.

Rob has authored, co-authored, or produced 65+ books covering topics such as social media marketing, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, military law, entrepreneurship, customer experience, life lessons, scams, sarcasm-driven business strategy, and more. His publishing and authority-building clients include attorneys, speakers, doctors, consultants, real estate professionals, coaches, and corporate leaders seeking to elevate their visibility and thought leadership.

He is also the host of The E-Heroes Podcast, featuring 385+ interviews with entrepreneurs, innovators, and industry disruptors. The show is distributed across major platforms including Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeartRadio, Spotify, and additional global streaming networks.

Through consulting, publishing, and strategic authority positioning, Rob works with businesses and organizations worldwide to help them increase revenue, strengthen brand trust, and capture high-value online opportunities.

Rob is available for speaking engagements, media interviews, podcast guest appearances, and corporate training programs focused on authority marketing, legacy branding, and strategic visibility.

To learn more or to get started, visit www.AnspachMedia.com or call Anspach Media at (412) 267-7224.