Hi Google it’s me Rob…

Google: Hi Rob
Me: Can you fix something for me?
Google: Sure I will get my best techs on it and have it fixed in 24 hours.
Me: Thank you very much.

{27 hours later…me calling back}

Hi Google it’s me Rob
Google: I see we helped you yesterday
Me: Yes you said your techs would have the problem solved in 24 hours and to call back if not fixed, so I’m calling back.
Google: You will have to be patient, some things take time
Me: I get that, but if you tell me 24 hours and 27 hours later its not fixed then its not a question of patience its a problem of over-promising your deliverables
Google: We are Google
Me: And I am Rob
Google: What do you wish of us
Me: An actual time that the issue will be fixed
Google: Could take 2 weeks
Me: So you basically did a reverse Scotty from Star Trek…instead of fixing the problem in a faster time frame you basically throw out a time frame knowing full well it won’t get fixed
Google: Scotty? I don’t see him on your account.
Me: OMG…you know beam me up Scotty there is no intelligent life here?
Google: Are you saying we are dumb?
Me: Oy vey, that’s not what I meant…
Google: Is there anything else we can help you with?
Me: Nope, just hoping it doesn’t take 2 weeks to fix the problem.
Google: It could take up to 2 weeks. We hope not. But it could. But if it takes longer, it is what it is. Can’t rush these things.
Me: So basically it’ll get fixed when it gets fixed.
Google: Are you satisfied with the call today
Me: I’ll let you know in 2 weeks

*Well apparently this was my last phone conversation with Google as they eliminated their call center for Google My Business and now in order to get things fixed you must do so through an automated email system that takes 10x longer than a phone call.


Rob is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends - to everyone else he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, a Foremost Expert On Specialized SEO, a Best Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker and Authority Broadcaster who can help amplify YOU to your audience.

Rob has authored, coauthored or produced over 40 books covering social media, search engine optimization, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, weight loss, military law, life lessons, scams, sarcasm, customer service and more. His book clients include lawyers, speakers, doctors, real estate professionals and more.

Rob is also host of The E-Heroes Interview Series available on Apple, Amazon, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify & many other podcast channels. Rob works inside corporations across the globe, helping companies generate new revenue and capture online business.

Rob is also available to share talks and give interviews. To learn more and to get started visit www.AnspachMedia.com or call Anspach Media at (412)267-7224 today.