Grr… so I go online and make a huge payment to one of my Credit Cards.

Then I get an email asking me if I just made the payment for X amount. Then 30 minutes later I get a phone call asking me if indeed I made that payment. I say this is why I pay online so I can save time and not have to deal with emails and phone calls.

Credit Card Co Rep: Sir these are new policies that we implemented to keep you safe?

Me: Safe from whom…is there people out there who pay other people’s credit card balances?

Credit Card Co Rep: Well Sir, these are extra steps we take to keep you safe?

Me: Well, I don’t need an email or a phone call asking me to reconfirm my payment. That just wastes my time.

Credit Card Co Rep: Unfortunately Sir, based on the amount of your payment you will get an email and phone call from us.

Me: Okay what is the threshold of payment to not trigger an email and phone call?

Credit Card Co Rep: XXX (which incidentally is $1 less than I paid)

Me: Seriously?

Credit Card Co Rep: Yes Sir

Me: So to not trigger your dumb email or nuisance call I need to lower my payment or make two payments?

Credit Card Co Rep: That’s partially correct Sir…you can lower your payment under the threshold but you can’t make 2 payments within a 24 hour period nor can you have more than 1 payment pre-scheduled at a time.

Me: So now I need to make multiple payments and waste more time, or make one large payment and deal with your email and phone call?

Credit Card Co Rep: That is correct Sir?

Me: How about I change my contact email and phone number so you can’t bug me?

Credit Card Co Rep: Sir, you may do that, but if we don’t get a confirmation from you, your payment won’t be processed and you will be charged a late fee.

Me: This seems like a no win situation.

Credit Card Co Rep: For you yes, for us no.

Me: Well, I’ll tell you what…cancel my card and close my account.

Credit Card Co Rep: Sir, if I make sure we don’t call you will you still stay a loyal customer?

Me: I don’t know…not feeling it.

Credit Card Co Rep: How about a lower interest rate?

Me: And?

Credit Card Co Rep: We can increase your credit limit.

Me: And?

Credit Card Co Rep: You can skip two payments in a 12 month period without interest or penalty.

Me: Deal.

<After I hung up, I received an email and another phone call>

Anspach Media | Website | + posts

Rob is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends - to everyone else he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, a Foremost Expert On Specialized SEO, a Best Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker and Authority Broadcaster who can help amplify YOU to your audience.

Rob has authored, coauthored or produced over 40 books covering social media, search engine optimization, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, weight loss, military law, life lessons, scams, sarcasm, customer service and more. His book clients include lawyers, speakers, doctors, real estate professionals and more.

Rob is also host of The E-Heroes Interview Series available on Apple, Amazon, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify & many other podcast channels. Rob works inside corporations across the globe, helping companies generate new revenue and capture online business.

Rob is also available to share talks and give interviews. To learn more and to get started visit or call Anspach Media at (412)267-7224 today.