This is Card Services – did you press 1 to lower your rate?

Me: Why is your caller ID coming up as Russia

Card Services Rep: Russia? Your phone must be giving you an error.

Me: But I can hear people in the background speaking Russian

Card Services Rep: Sir, there is no one here speaking Russian

Me: Did you just wave your hand while you said that?

Card Services Rep: Sir, I have no idea what you mean.

Me: You did it again.

Card Services Rep: Sir, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me: You just Obi Wan Kenobi’d me didn’t you?

Card Services Rep: Sir, do want a lower interest rate or not?

Me: What do you need from me?

Card Services Rep: What is your card with the highest balance?

Me: As in how much I owe or the one with the highest award points?

Card Services Rep: Sir, can you read off the numbers please.

Me: Which card?

Card Services Rep: The highest balance.

{ I make up 16 numbers)

Card Services Rep: okay now the expiration date

{I gave them a wrong date}

{Card Services rep reads all the numbers back to me. I say yup.}

Card Services Rep: Sir, are you sure those numbers are the right numbers?

Me: Yup, pretty sure.

Card Services Rep: Sir, the numbers you gave me don’t match what we have on file. Is this your card?

Me: Yup.

Card Services Rep: Sir when was the last time you used this card?

Me: Why

Card Services Rep: Our records show the card was cancelled 5 years ago.

Me: Really? It worked.

Card Services Rep: What worked?

Me: What year is it?

Card Services Rep: Sir it’s 2019.

Me: 2019? 2019! I just went 6 years into the future. Yeehaw!

Card Services Rep: Sir, are you wasting my time?

Me: Time is relative I always say, especially if you have a time machine and love messing with scammers.

(caller hung up)

Anspach Media | Website | + posts

Rob is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends - to everyone else he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, a Foremost Expert On Specialized SEO, a Best Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker and Authority Broadcaster who can help amplify YOU to your audience.

Rob has authored, coauthored or produced over 40 books covering social media, search engine optimization, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, weight loss, military law, life lessons, scams, sarcasm, customer service and more. His book clients include lawyers, speakers, doctors, real estate professionals and more.

Rob is also host of The E-Heroes Interview Series available on Apple, Amazon, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify & many other podcast channels. Rob works inside corporations across the globe, helping companies generate new revenue and capture online business.

Rob is also available to share talks and give interviews. To learn more and to get started visit or call Anspach Media at (412)267-7224 today.