This is Card Services – did you press 1 to lower your rate?

Me: Why is your caller ID coming up as Russia

Card Services Rep: Russia? Your phone must be giving you an error.

Me: But I can hear people in the background speaking Russian

Card Services Rep: Sir, there is no one here speaking Russian

Me: Did you just wave your hand while you said that?

Card Services Rep: Sir, I have no idea what you mean.

Me: You did it again.

Card Services Rep: Sir, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me: You just Obi Wan Kenobi’d me didn’t you?

Card Services Rep: Sir, do want a lower interest rate or not?

Me: What do you need from me?

Card Services Rep: What is your card with the highest balance?

Me: As in how much I owe or the one with the highest award points?

Card Services Rep: Sir, can you read off the numbers please.

Me: Which card?

Card Services Rep: The highest balance.

{ I make up 16 numbers)

Card Services Rep: okay now the expiration date

{I gave them a wrong date}

{Card Services rep reads all the numbers back to me. I say yup.}

Card Services Rep: Sir, are you sure those numbers are the right numbers?

Me: Yup, pretty sure.

Card Services Rep: Sir, the numbers you gave me don’t match what we have on file. Is this your card?

Me: Yup.

Card Services Rep: Sir when was the last time you used this card?

Me: Why

Card Services Rep: Our records show the card was cancelled 5 years ago.

Me: Really? It worked.

Card Services Rep: What worked?

Me: What year is it?

Card Services Rep: Sir it’s 2019.

Me: 2019? 2019! I just went 6 years into the future. Yeehaw!

Card Services Rep: Sir, are you wasting my time?

Me: Time is relative I always say, especially if you have a time machine and love messing with scammers.

(caller hung up)