Phone rings…caller ID says it’s a Spam Risk.
Pfft…I answer it anyway.

Me: Hello
{recorded message says it’s an apology call from my electric company and I qualify for a rebate…so I should press 1 to speak to a representative} So I did.

Them: Sir am I to assume you are the one on the electric and gas bill?

Me: Well I did answer the call.

Them: Am I speaking to Mr. Stafford?

Me: {not wanting to disappoint} Of course.

Them: Sir, we are offering a 30% rebate on your electric and gas and issuing a refund for overpayment. 

Me: How nice.

Them: Mr Stafford would you agree to share your statement with me so I can look up your account.

Me: Share my statement, don’t you already have it?

Them: Sir, we just need to double check the information.

Me: Well I don’t need it double checked, just go ahead and issue the refund and apply the 30% discount to my account.

Them: Sir we need the information.

Me: You already have it. 

Them: Sir I assure you we don’t.

Me: Yeah I’ll have to agree with you on that.

Them: Sir, what do you mean.

Me: The information you have is wrong. Way wrong.

Them: What do you mean wrong?

Me: I’m not Mr Stafford. 

Them: Why did you say you were then?

Me: Why not? You lied first.

Them: Sir, I assure you we are legitimate service.

Me: Hmm, legitimate at ripping people off and stealing their information. 

Them: F-You.

Me: Do you even know who I am?

Them: You just said you are not Mr Stafford.

Me: That’s right. And yet you continue to let me keep you on the line. 

Them: Benchod {Pakistan & Indian bad word}

Me: So I take it no refund and you aren’t from the electric company?

Them: F-You.

Me: You must me new.

Them: Huh?

Me: An experienced scammer would have hung up long ago, but thanks for allowing me to waste your time. 

{I hung up}

{He calls back – I transfer him to voicemail – he leaves a message telling me to F-off}