Olivia the computer voiced representative from Visa Mastercard said I should press 1 for a liv operator so I could lower my interest rates.

{I was curious as to what a liv operator was so I pressed 1}

{apparently a liv operator is code for a thick accented foreign dude who doesn’t take kindly to having his time wasted}

Me: Hello

Liv Operator: Sir I see you pressed 1 to lower your interest rate is that correct.

Me: Sure

Liv Operator: Whats the card with the highest balance – is it a Visa or Mastercard?

Me: No idea

Liv Operator: Sir I see you make payments every month on time for the last six months and sometimes you make more than your minimum payment is that right?

Me: So you can see about my payment history but have no idea what the card with the highest balance is.

Liv Operator: Sir that is correct can you share that information with me?

Me: Okay I’ll play along
{thought for sure he would hang up, but he stuck with me}

Liv Operator: Can you share with me the card starting with 5

Me: Five? What five? This card starts with a 4?

Liv Operator: Sir I want your Mastercard number starting with 5

Me: No can do – I have a Visa and it starts with a 4.

Liv Operator: Okay read those numbers to me

Me: {make up 16 digits}

Liv Operator: Sir those numbers are incorrect.

Me: What do you mean they are incorrect… { I repeat the same 16 numbers I made up prior}

Liv Operator: Sir that number is not correct. Who issued that card?

Me: US Bank

Liv Operator: No Sir

Me: Are you calling me a liar? I have the card in front of me.

Liv Operator: Sir, I don’t believe you.

Me: That’s okay, I don’t believe you work for Visa Mastercard either you stupid scammer.

Liv Operator: You wasted my time you a-hole.

Me: Bwahahahaha

{he tried to hang up, I stayed on the line laughing, he picked up the phone to hear me laughing – finally the call disconnected}