Sir, we are a Home Improvement Company offering all kinds of repairs like roofing, gutters, windows, doors and plumbing.

{background was filled with at least a dozen callers running through the same script}

Me: Hmm, could you repeat that, all the noise in the background is distracting.

Caller: Sir, we are a Home Improvement Company offering all kinds of repairs like roofing, gutters, windows, doors and plumbing.

Me: What did you say your company’s name is?

Caller: Home Improvement Company

Me: Hmm, never heard of you, what is it you do?

Caller: All kinds of home repairs like roof, gutters, windows, doors and plumbing.

Me: Do you offer electrical?

Caller: Yes

Me: Do you offer siding replacement?

Caller: Yes

Me: Do you offer dog poo yard clean up?

Caller: Sir, you name it we can fix it.

Me: Okay, I can probably come up with a list of repairs you can MacGyver

Caller: Do you own your home?

Me: I pay a mortgage – which means I will probably be dead before it’s paid for.

Caller: So in the future which repairs do you think you will need done to your home?

Me: It’s a home…everything will need repaired at some point.

Caller: May we send someone out tomorrow to give you a quote?

Me: Where did you say you are located?

{Caller then botches the name of my town}

Me: So if you’re local to my area how come you can’t even pronounce the town’s name correctly?

Caller: I’m new to the company.

Me: So you work for a company that has no real name in a town you cant pronounce

{caller doesn’t even acknowledge my question and stays on script}

Caller: So tomorrow doesn’t work, how about the next day?

Me: You’re a pushy SOB aren’t you?

Caller: Sir, we are just trying to make an appointment with you

Me: To do what?

Caller: Give you a quote for repairs

Me: Well you asked if I needed repairs in the future, not if I needed repairs right now.

Caller: But Sir we are in your area all this week.

Me: Well the number you called in on is not a local number

Caller: We are calling from our national call center and we make thousands of calls a day all over the USA

Me: Wow, sounds like you have this scam down then.

Caller: Yes Sir

Me: So you admit it?

{Caller hung up}

Anspach Media | Website | + posts

Rob is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends - to everyone else he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, a Foremost Expert On Specialized SEO, a Best Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker and Authority Broadcaster who can help amplify YOU to your audience.

Rob has authored, coauthored or produced over 40 books covering social media, search engine optimization, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, weight loss, military law, life lessons, scams, sarcasm, customer service and more. His book clients include lawyers, speakers, doctors, real estate professionals and more.

Rob is also host of The E-Heroes Interview Series available on Apple, Amazon, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify & many other podcast channels. Rob works inside corporations across the globe, helping companies generate new revenue and capture online business.

Rob is also available to share talks and give interviews. To learn more and to get started visit or call Anspach Media at (412)267-7224 today.