7:04am Monday
my cell phone rings

Me: This is Rob
Them: Is this the I.T. department?
{me not wanting to disappoint them}
Me: Sure is, how can I help?
Them: My computer stopped working?
Me: Is it turned on?
Them: {short pause} What kind of dumb question is that?
Me: There is no such thing as dumb questions, just dumb people asking questions. So is it turned on?
Them: {short pause} No
Me: Can you turn it on?
Them: {longer pause} Okay, it’s on now.
Me: Is it working?
Them: Hmm, err, yeah.
Me: Now don’t you feel silly?
Them: You’re an ass, I’m reporting you to Human Resources
Me: Oh no, not Human Resources, say it isn’t so.
Them: Yes, you’re arrogant and obnoxious.
Me: And?
Them: IT Support is supposed to be nice and friendly and not condescending.
Me: Well, had you actually called the real IT department maybe they would be, but you called me…
Them: {cutting me off before I could finish what I was going to say, which was probably good because it wasn’t nice} What? What do you mean it’s not the real IT Department?
Me: {thinking gawd how long can I keep this moron on the phone} Well, let me tell you a story of a guy who dialed the wrong number only to have another guy answer that call who really only wanted to waste his time. Oh, you’ll love this story. It’s got computers, smart ass comments and a fantastic surprise ending.
Them: F-You
Me: Is that anyway to say thanks for getting your computer to work?
<they hung up>

5 minutes later…my phone rings

Me: This is Rob
Them: This is Human Resources, we’ll need you to come down and explain your actions from your support call a few minutes ago.
Me: Come down? I don’t even know where you’re located.
Them: {short pause} We’re on the 3rd floor.
Me: Oh, yes that explains so much.
Them: Excuse me?
Me: You say you’re on the 3rd floor, the 3rd floor of what building, where?
Them: Huh, where are you?
Me: I’m here.
Them: Yes, where’s here?
Me: That’s really the wrong question. The question isn’t where I am, it’s really who I am?
Them: Who are you?
Me: Well, I’m not an IT guy and I don’t work for your company, but have I got a story for you…
Them: {cutting me off} What do you mean you’re not an IT guy and you don’t work at this company?
Me: Well, I tell you what instead of me coming down to see you, come on up to the IT department and we can have a discussion. I’ll be the guy laughing my ass off.

<they hung up>

I really hope there is no ROB in their IT department – ooh, he’s gonna get fired.

Rob is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends - to everyone else he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, a Foremost Expert On Specialized SEO, a Best Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker and Authority Broadcaster who can help amplify YOU to your audience.

Rob has authored, coauthored or produced over 36 books covering social media, search engine optimization, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, weight loss, military law, life lessons, scams, sarcasm, customer service and more. His book clients include lawyers, speakers, doctors, real estate professionals and more.

Rob is also host of The E-Heroes Interview Series available on Apple, Amazon, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify & many other podcast channels. Rob works inside corporations across the globe, helping companies generate new revenue and capture online business.

Rob is also available to share talks and give interviews. To learn more and to get started visit www.AnspachMedia.com or call Anspach Media at (412)267-7224 today.