Just sitting here drinking an iced mocha coffee minding my own business when…

my phone rings…

it’s Card Services trying to offer me a lower rate.

Well you know me…

I just had to play along.

Caller: I see you pressed 1 for a lower rate.

Me: You know it.

Caller: May I inquire the card with the highest balance?

Me: Sure

Caller: Sir?

Me: Yes

Caller: What is that card?

Me: What are the choices?

Caller: Choices Sir?

Me: Yes, which cards?

Caller: Visa, Mastercard

Me: Oh okay, I have those.

Caller: Can you read the numbers to one of them.

{Me grabbing an expired Starbucks Visa gift card, reading off the numbers}

{The caller scrambling to enter the numbers into his computer}

Caller: Sir, are you sure this is your highest balance card.

Me: Yup, why?

Caller: Sir, there doesn’t seem to be a balance on this card.

Me: Well I did just use it to buy this iced mocha I’m drinking right now.

Caller: A what?

Me: You know a coffee. You can get them just about anywhere. I prefer Dunkin Donuts myself, but the card I gave you I used at Starbucks. Do you want one? I can get you a prepaid gift card while I’m here. I’ll need your address to ship the card.

Caller: Do you enjoy wasting our time?

Me: Why yes, yes I do.

Caller: F’ you mother f’er