“Rob, can you help me with a project?”

Me: depending on the time commitment, maybe

Caller: well I would really like you to be involved

Me: okay, tell me more

Caller: {proceeds to tell me a bunch of vague ideas and nonsense}

Me: how soon did you want to start

Caller: yesterday

Me: hah, well I don’t have a DeLorean to travel back to yesterday and your plan needs work, so how about we work on the plan then we work on a real time to start

Caller: {dead silent}

Me: did I lose you?

Caller: er, hmm, no…just thought it was a fantastic idea that you would jump at

Me: well it could be a fantastic idea, if more time was devoted in fleshing it out correctly

Caller: okay, makes sense

Me: and I would need $$ to help you

Caller: WTF man

Me: so you want me to jump on board, hammer out all your ideas so that the project will reap rewards for you, but you don’t want to pay me for my time.

Caller: well I’m giving you a piece of action afterwards

Me: hah, so I need to drop all the things that are currently making me money, paying my bills and putting food on the table to help you with your dream project is that correct

Caller: man, you’re such an asshole

Me: evidently…but remember, you called me, which means you need this asshole to get your project off the ground

Caller: Hell I don’t…I’ll do it my damn self…and you’re not involved anymore. I don’t need you.

Me: Good luck.

Caller: F-you.

{That was a month ago – This morning received a voicemail from the same caller asking for help again – Wonder what names I will be called when I tell him my price to help him is now double?}

Rob Anspach

Anspach Media | Website | + posts

Rob Anspach is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends. To everyone else, he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, Authority Amplification Expert, Best-Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker, and Publisher who helps entrepreneurs, experts, and organizations expand their influence, credibility, and legacy.

With more than 30 years of experience building brands and positioning leaders as industry authorities, Rob specializes in authority marketing, storytelling strategy, and digital visibility. He is known for helping experts move beyond simply being known… and become respected, trusted, and remembered.

Rob has authored, co-authored, or produced 65+ books covering topics such as social media marketing, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, military law, entrepreneurship, customer experience, life lessons, scams, sarcasm-driven business strategy, and more. His publishing and authority-building clients include attorneys, speakers, doctors, consultants, real estate professionals, coaches, and corporate leaders seeking to elevate their visibility and thought leadership.

He is also the host of The E-Heroes Podcast, featuring 385+ interviews with entrepreneurs, innovators, and industry disruptors. The show is distributed across major platforms including Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeartRadio, Spotify, and additional global streaming networks.

Through consulting, publishing, and strategic authority positioning, Rob works with businesses and organizations worldwide to help them increase revenue, strengthen brand trust, and capture high-value online opportunities.

Rob is available for speaking engagements, media interviews, podcast guest appearances, and corporate training programs focused on authority marketing, legacy branding, and strategic visibility.

To learn more or to get started, visit www.AnspachMedia.com or call Anspach Media at (412) 267-7224.