Sir in order to get our best deals you should download our app.

Me: I have too many apps, don’t want any more.

Store clerk: Well that’s your problem then

Me: Yup, suppose so.

Store clerk: Do you truly need all those apps?

Me: Well they all serve a purpose.

Store clerk: Well if they aren’t saving you money at our store then they aren’t serving the right purpose.

Me: I’m thinking I don’t need your app.

Store clerk: But then you won’t get our great deals.

Me: I’ll pass

Store clerk: Sir I’m sure there is one app you can delete so you can add ours.

Me: Probably not.

Store clerk: Okay then have at it – delete anyone then download our app.

Me: You know what, I don’t want your app…

Store clerk: You need our app.

Me: I need to leave.

Store clerk: Give me your phone and I’ll download the app and set it up for you.

Me: I’m going to throat punch you.

{Store clerk yells for security}

{Security now wants to know why I threatened the store clerk with violence. Wonders why I just didn’t download the app.}

Anspach Media | Website | + posts

Rob is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends - to everyone else he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, a Foremost Expert On Specialized SEO, a Best Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker and Authority Broadcaster who can help amplify YOU to your audience.

Rob has authored, coauthored or produced over 40 books covering social media, search engine optimization, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, weight loss, military law, life lessons, scams, sarcasm, customer service and more. His book clients include lawyers, speakers, doctors, real estate professionals and more.

Rob is also host of The E-Heroes Interview Series available on Apple, Amazon, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify & many other podcast channels. Rob works inside corporations across the globe, helping companies generate new revenue and capture online business.

Rob is also available to share talks and give interviews. To learn more and to get started visit or call Anspach Media at (412)267-7224 today.