Greetings I hope this email finds you well.
Me: Actually no, your email was the cause of my injury which required 3 excruciating nights at St Johns Hospital
Them: That’s fantastic. Can we share with you are fabulous services?
Me: Unless your services include physical therapy and plenty of Netflix watching I don’t think you can help me.
Them: We can have one of our representatives reach out and explain our system and how it works, would that be acceptable?
Me: Acceptable? No, not at all.
Them: In addition to our previous email I would like to share with you our Trial Project as well as win your faith with our best services and initiate our relations to go a long way.
Me: Sounds like a bunch of nonsense, I’m in.
Them: And for this project we will not charge you anything if you do not like the work done from my side without asking anything.
Me: No idea where you learned grammar, but I like it.
Them: More info this I would like to share you that we work on Fixed Cost and Hourly basis and per your or project requirements.
Me: Go on.
Them: Further request you to share your best available time and contact number or Skype ID to discuss the possibilities of working together.
Me: Sounds like endless wonder, can’t wait.
Them: Feel free to advise me your views or let me know to remove your mail ID from my list
Me: My views? You want me to advise you on my views? What kind of freak are you. I’m out. Remove me from your list.
Them: We believe in quick and up-front communication with this we have achieved good satisfaction ratio with our on-going client’s in terms of producing quality work with efficiency and within defined timelines.
Me: Oh, kill me now.