Another day another Card Services scammer.

Caller 1: Hello is this Mr Stafford? {Gets my name totally wrong}

Me: Why yes it is.

{Unfortunately the person calling me sounded like he hasn’t slept in 3 days. Every other word he paused to yawn.}

Me: Does the little scammer need a nap?
{I seriously thought the call would end right then…but nope}

Caller 1: Yes, Sir I sure do.

Me: Okay put someone else on the line who can help me so you can take a nap.

Caller 2: Sir, please excuse my associate, I will help you now.

Me: Awesome I have lots of cards that need a lower interest rate.

{Gave them fictitious card numbers, expiration dates and zip codes – was put on hold for 5 minutes}

Caller 2: Sir, the number you gave is from a US Bank card is that correct.

Me: Sure is. I’m really anxious to get a lower rate.

Caller 2: Okay give me a few minutes to get things going.

{on hold for 6 more minutes}

Caller 2: Sir your information doesn’t seem to match.

Me: Oh really.

Caller 2: Can you read the numbers back to me again.

{Supplied him with the fake information all over again – waited another 6 more minutes for him to investigate}

Caller 2: Sir, are you still using those cards?

Me: No I haven’t used them in some time.

Caller 2: But do you make payments to them?

Me: No I haven’t made payments to them either.

Caller 2: What do you mean?

Me: Are we going to do this deal or not?

Caller 2: Okay sir let me check a 3rd time.

Me: Yes, please check again.

{Another 5 minutes goes by}

Caller 2: I just don’t know what is going on Sir.

Me: Oh, I know whats going on. I just wasted 26 minutes of your time. That’s was fun. Can we do it again tomorrow?

Caller 2: F-You.
{hangs up}