Hey, Rob I called you twice today.

Me: did you leave a message?

Them: no

Me: then it wasn’t important

Them: yes, it was

Me: if it was you’d have left a message

Them: I emailed you too

Me: emailed it to where?

Them: when you didn’t respond I called again

Me: and yet you didn’t leave a message

Them: well, now I have you here on Facebook chat

Me: yup, probably should have started with that first

Them: why didn’t you answer the phone

Me: because I’m busy and these interruptions cost me time

Them: do you want to call me back?

Me: dude, I don’t even know what you want

Them: I need help

Me: I get that…what type of help? And if you say “your help” I’m blocking your ass

Them: forget it, you’re impossible

Me: no, I’m focused and you’re wasting my time

Them: well pick up the phone next time and we won’t have these dumb chats

Me: oh yes it’s my fault, I forgot who I was dealing with

Them: what’s that supposed to mean

Me: look Mr Impatient, if you leave a message next time I will respond when I have time, not when you believe I should respond

Them: that’s a dumb rule

Me: take or leave it, my rules, my game

Them: when can we chat

Me: we are chatting

Them: on the phone

Me: OMG – we are chatting here now, spill it, whats on your mind?

Them: I need to talk to you

Me: and I need to be waterboarded

Them: why

Me: because it would be more pleasant than this chat

Rob Anspach

Anspach Media | Website | + posts

Rob Anspach is affectionately known as “Mr. Sarcasm” to his friends. To everyone else, he’s a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, Authority Amplification Expert, Best-Selling Author, Podcaster, Speaker, and Publisher who helps entrepreneurs, experts, and organizations expand their influence, credibility, and legacy.

With more than 25 years of experience building brands and positioning leaders as industry authorities, Rob specializes in authority marketing, storytelling strategy, and digital visibility. He is known for helping experts move beyond simply being known… and become respected, trusted, and remembered.

Rob has authored, co-authored, or produced 60+ books covering topics such as social media marketing, podcasting, copywriting, personal injury law, military law, entrepreneurship, customer experience, life lessons, scams, sarcasm-driven business strategy, and more. His publishing and authority-building clients include attorneys, speakers, doctors, consultants, real estate professionals, coaches, and corporate leaders seeking to elevate their visibility and thought leadership.

He is also the host of The E-Heroes Podcast, featuring 380+ interviews with entrepreneurs, innovators, and industry disruptors. The show is distributed across major platforms including Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeartRadio, Spotify, and additional global streaming networks.

Through consulting, publishing, and strategic authority positioning, Rob works with businesses and organizations worldwide to help them increase revenue, strengthen brand trust, and capture high-value online opportunities.

Rob is available for speaking engagements, media interviews, podcast guest appearances, and corporate training programs focused on authority marketing, legacy branding, and strategic visibility.

To learn more or to get started, visit www.AnspachMedia.com or call Anspach Media at (412) 267-7224.