By Rob Anspach

Rob Versus The Morons

Overcoming Idiotic Customers with Wit, Sarcasm and a Take No Bullshit Attitude

Rob says what many of us wish we had the balls to say.Steve Gamlin, Keynote Speaker, Author, The Motivational Firewood™ Guy

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Rob Versus The Morons

Morons Beware…

If you had the misfortune of wasting Rob’s time on the phone or in person, there’s a good chance your story is in this book. You’ll either love this book or you will hate it. It was written that way. For those that believe the customer is always right and you should bend over and take it…will hate the book. Those who believe every entrepreneur should run their business on their terms and if a customer doesn’t like those terms should go elsewhere…will love the book. Rob flips customer service on it’s ear and kicks it right in the jimmies. He doesn’t hold punches and frankly has no time for wishy washy policies or silly shenanigans. Curious? Maybe you’re already triggered? Maybe, just maybe, this will be the book that opens your eyes and gets you to rethink customer service from the ground up.

“Whoever coined the phrase ‘the customer is always right’ was probably a customer lobbing a feebly-thrown Hail Mary pass from deep in their own end zone, backed into a corner by their own arrogance and ignorance. In this book, Rob says what many of us wish we had the balls to say. And, as long as he can keep these misguided fools on the phone, he will continue to gather evidence which proves that a portion of the business world seems to enjoy keeping its head lodged in a warm, dark place…like an ostrich that has lost its sense of smell.”  Steve Gamlin, The Motivational Firewood™ Guy

“If you have ever had the misfortune of dealing with incompetent customer service on the phone or online, then you must read Rob‘s new book which takes you in-depth into conversations with customer service representatives who have absolutely no clue what they are doing.

Reading Rob’s fast-paced, story-filled book makes you feel as if you are secretly listening in on his mind-blowing conversations not only with customer service but also with business owners and entrepreneurs who don’t understand what it means to play by the rules. Logic gets thrown out the window when trying to explain to a customer service rep how ridiculous it is to receive a reference number for something that no one ever takes any notes about. Equally insane is when a business owner attempts to do things their own way and expects Rob to play along.

Learn how Rob uses his sarcasm and wit to make his point over and over again. As you read along, you will say to yourself “That’s exactly what happened to me the last time I was on the phone with customer service!” Do yourself a favor, get a copy of Rob’s new book “Rob Versus The Morons“ immediately. You’ll thank me, you’ll thank Rob and then you’ll start searching to learn where you can get a copy of “Rob Versus The Scammers” which is even funnier.”– Gerry Oginski, Great Neck, N.Y.

“A brilliant read! I’m a bit of a “grammar police” myself, so the first ‘story’ hit home! I loved the notes at the end of each lesson! I abhor Customer Service Assistants who don’t understand English, so I can identify with the sarcasm used – at times it was like you were in my head, saying my words! Be glad you don’t have to deal with some CS Departments in South Africa!! You’d be able to write volumes! Some people just don’t, can’t or won’t listen! Other people named…” and “A priest, A Rabbi & A President…..” had me howling. I read them both twice, just for fun.

A good, quick read, guaranteed to cheer you up on a grey day! – Sioux Gijzen, Boksburg, Gauteng South Africa

Who’s ready to be entertained, while discovering the true meaning

on how to effectively train customers to play by your rules?  

David Holub put it best with these words… “If you only have the time to read one book this year your time will be well spent breezing through Rob’s new book “Rob Versus the Morons”. And, if all you learn is how not to be a … well, then your time will be well spent. You’ll find Rob’s story telling entertaining and informative. And, even if you are not into marketing, you’ll find that Rob’s most important rule applies to any profession. Master it and success will follow.

You ready to experience a book that entertains

while at the same time teaches you

how to run your business on your terms?

 “Rob Anspach has done it again. This latest work is brilliant, informative, and entertaining. If you only read the notes at the end of the sections, you’ll learn valuable information and advice. But then you’ll miss out on Rob’s delicious sarcasm and wit as he navigates frustrating situations that we all encounter and only dream we could handle half as well as he does. Throughout this page-turner you’ll find yourself wishing you could run your business and live your life on your own terms, as Rob does, and the good news is that — by following Rob’s lead — you can!” – Steve Sipress

Best Selling Author

Rob Anspach

I’ve spent the last 25 years of my life as an entrepreneur and I can tell you that being an entrepreneur has to be done on your terms. If that means someone views you as a jerk, a curmudgeon or even an asshole that’s okay. In fact, the more I allowed my personality to shine (more like my sarcasm to be front and center) the easier it was to disqualify those who truly weren’t a right fit for me.” – Rob Anspach

Rob is a Certified Digital Marketing Strategist, a Foremost Expert On Specialized SEO, a Serial Author, Podcaster, Speaker and Authority Broadcaster who can help amplify YOU to your audience. Rob’s the author of “Social Media Debunked“, “Share: 27 Ways To Boost Your Social Media Experience, Build Trust and Attract Followers” and “Lessons From The Dojo: 101 Ways To Improve Your Life, Business and Relationships” & “Rob Versus The Scammers: Protecting The World Against Fraud, Nuisance Calls and Downright Phony Scams” and the coauthor of “Optimize This: How Two Carpet Cleaners Consistently Beat Web Designers On The Search Engines“, “The #AskDrA Book Series: Easy & Practical Answers To Enjoying Life As A New Sleever“, “No Experience Necessary: Social Media For The Boomers, Gen X-ers & The Over 50 Entrepreneur” and “Power Guesting: Insider Secrets To Profit From Being A Great Podcasting Guest” and contributor to “The Wise Guys Copywriting Handbook“. Rob has also produced books for other clients including lawyers, speakers, doctors and real estate professionals. Rob is also host of The E-Heroes Interview Series available on Apple, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify & many podcast channels. Rob works inside corporations across the globe, helping companies generate new revenue and capture online business. Rob is also available to share talks and give interviews. 

Other Books

Lessons From The Dojo

101 Kick Butt Ways To Improve Your Life, Business & Relationships


27 Ways To Improve Your Social Media Experience, Build Trust & Attract Followers

Optimize This

How Two Carpet Cleaners Consistently Beat Web Designers On The Search Engines

No Experience Necessary

Social Media For The Boomers, Gen X-ers & the Over 50 Entrepreneur

Rob Versus The Scammers

Protecting The World Against Fraud, Nuisance Calls and Downright Phony Scams

Power Guesting

Insider Secrets To Profit From Being A Great Podcasting Guest

Wise Guys Copywriting Handbook

How To Create Marketing Messages And Offers They Just Can’t Refuse

Ask Dr A Book Series

Easy & Practical Answers To Enjoying Life As A New “Sleever”


If you want a word duel, see Rob Anspach! Just expect to lose, especially if you refuse to engage in a “sensible” conversation. Rob shares his trials and tribulations with customers and customer service people all over the world, and leaves them reeling in his wake. If you want a gift of humor for that special someone, I highly recommend this book!

– Laura Toogood, Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Reading any book in the “Rob versus…” series is a master class in how to do business effectively and probably profitably.

It’s also very instructive in how not to be the customer from Hell. Rob don’t play that.

I’ve enjoyed every book I’ve gotten from him, as Rob delivers excellent content.  

– Jocelyn Stewart Bagley


Rob Anspach delivers a highly sarcastic yet poignant view, combining humor with extreme-case examples that provide an important reminder why you must set a high expectations bar not only for yourself, but also for those you choose to work with, in order to have a prosperous and profitable business you will enjoy.

– Adam Hommey, Speaker, Author, Consultant & Trainer

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